The Seven Bands You Meet in Heaven

It's been said that if there's rock 'n' roll in heaven, they have a hell of a band.

But rock has been around for a while now and has amassed a pretty lengthy roster of casualties. Does anyone think that even in the divine perfection of the afterlife, all the dead rock stars could somehow get organized enough to play in one giant band? Does any band need that many bass players? Could any band stand that many singers? Of course not. Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison couldn't coexist in the same lineup for five minutes, let alone eternity.

So after several lengthy séance sessions with the late concert promoter Bill Graham, I can confidently announce the lineups of the seven rock bands you'll meet in heaven. Each band features vocals, guitar, bass and drums. Keyboardists sometimes drop in, but they don't tend to stick around long. They're flighty even in the afterlife.

Band No. 1 -- The Metallic Kissing Beatles

John Lennon (Beatles) -- vocals, rhythm guitar
George Harrison (Beatles) -- vocals, lead guitar
Cliff Burton (Metallica) -- bass
Eric Carr (Kiss) -- drums

Since the Fab Four were always one of The Big Guy's favorites, He pulled some strings to keep John and George together.
But it's the metal influence of Burton and Carr that really make this band worth pulling up a cloud and listening to. The proto-emo of the Beatles' style is set off nicely with an inescapable, thundering rhythm section. Nothing against Paul and Ringo, but '60s Brit pop with a head-banging undercurrent is quite wonderful. Thankfully for all departed souls, Carr left the fox makeup back on Earth.
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